I guess it’s fortunate I like living alone and maybe always should have. I suppose many people can’t or don’t understand that when you think so much of our culture is based around friendships, relationships, marriage, and frequent personal interaction. 

When I think back about my life, I realize I have always liked being alone and leading my life as I wanted to. Some might call that selfish. If so then I am guilty. Unfortunately, my not standing up and following through with that commitment to myself has led to my disappointing several persons, mainly in romantic involvements. Too often my brains were in my dick.

Fortunately, I have finally come to the conclusion I am much happier and better off living alone. I do wish I had some more contact with my kids, but I don’t feel the need for very frequent involvement like so many others do. 

Thinking about this past week I realize I have only left the shop and my living space to walk to the mailbox every other day, gone to the grocery store three times (and had no more than 30-second verbal interactions with the store clerks), had one 10-minute visit from Ed and one other 5-minute call from him. Other than that, I have not seen or talked to anyone. 

I also cook and eat 99.9% of my meals alone. Many times in silence since there isn’t much of interest on television. Even on the rare occasion I stop to eat lunch when I am out for some reason, I eat alone in silence. Sometimes I think I am losing my ability to verbally communicate.

Now you might think that is some sort of mental illness, or that I am suffering loneliness, but I don’t think so. I just like being able to do what I want to do when I want to. Oh sure, I sometimes think it would be nice to engage in more ways than one with a female, but then that thought goes away.

Is that wrong or against human nature? Who knows, that just seems to work for me.   

Ken Kaiyala
5-18-2025