Dad Jokes

I was working in the shop this morning when I turned too quickly and hit my funny bone. Suddenly I started telling dumb dad jokes and couldn’t stop until my arm felt better. I wish I would have had the presence of mind to record them for future letters to my grandkids.

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Creature of Habit

When I edge glue wood, I always spread the glue evenly with my finger. Today at lunch I made myself a sandwich with a leftover piece of sliced steak.

After putting on mayonnaise and placing the steak onto one slice of the bread, I squeezed some ketchup onto it. Without thinking I carefully spread the ketchup all over the steak with my finger. At least I could lick my finger after making the sandwich…but not after spreading glue.

I guess I am a creature of habit.

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Senior Shopping Hours

A couple of days ago I read that grocery stores were starting senior shopping hours during the coronavirus pandemic. That got me sort of excited so this morning I got up early and went to two nearby stores. Unfortunately I didn’t find any seniors I was interested in purchasing and came home empty-handed.

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Favorite Songs

I think my two most favorite songs may be:
“Don’t Give Up” sung by Willie Nelson and Sinead O’Connor
“The Blue Train” sung by Linda Ronstadt

But then I also like at least 100 others.

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Regrets I

Oh I’ve had a few. But what are regrets really? They are reliving the past in the mind with no chance of changing those hurtful words, stupid actions, or faithful decisions. So rather than visiting regrets I choose to try to learn from those times and try not to repeat what caused them too many times.

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Regrets II

Harsh words spoken
Actions taken without thinking
Unfortunate decisions made

Oh, I’m guilty. But it’s too late to change outcomes once taken. Maybe, just maybe, I have learned something about life.

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Delicious

Fried taters and onions
Naked burger
Green salad with red pepper, zucchini, tomato, and red onion
Walking Dead red wine
Small 100 Grand chocolate bar
OK

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Ginger and Junior(s)

Yippee! My latest pet Ginger (below) just had a baby. It’s the cutest little sprout.

(Days later) Wow! Another baby from my pet Ginger just popped up this morning. I think I will call him Junior. I’m beginning to think she is promiscuous.

Ken Kaiyala